Love Stinks.

"If you liked it then you would've put a ring on it. But if I liked it then the kid wouldn't cheat on it."--Trey Songz

I just don't get it nor can I make sense of it. I have tried super hard, relationship after relationship and continuously fail miserable. 96% of the time I am not at fault. I know when it comes to being a girlfriend, I am pretty good at holding that title. All I have ever asked from my partner at that time to always be honest with me and do right by me. I have never been materialistic or controlling. I do not cheat on anyone and I keep it real and always let the person know what's going on 100%; good or bad. Compromising? Yes. So why do I always tend to find myself in the most fucked up situations? The guy who I was dealing with; whom happens to be the father of my unborn, best friend of 4 years, has decided to stray away from me and for what? Because I calmly approached him about sleeping with my ex-best friend of 7 years; since he is always there and has condoms in his overnight bag. Yes, we are single but when you are supposed to be dedicated about working out things and being a family some things have to give. That shouldn't of happened. So of course he became defensive and blew up at me and started coming at me with all types of problem and couldn't answer the question as to why there were condoms in his overnight bag. That's like premeditated murder, you bring a gun with you but you not going to shoot anyone. Of course I am hurt but relieved that I did find out. So I am giving up on love, relationships because time after time I find myself with the wrong ones. There isn't any fun in love when you are loving alone. I am always left wondering why or with unanswered questions at the end of every relationship. Now ending things for me are becoming a lot harder for me because there are children involved. In a few years I have to explain to them why their parents aren't together or why is there so much animosity. Ughhh. It is crazy how shit works it self out and comes to the light. I am always hanging on to hope by a thread because like the quote; "Anything worth having is hard work" but I cannot hold on anymore. I regret falling in love and being so open hearted. The only positive things to have come out of my past serious relationships were the kids.

Outie♥
Breezi F.

Freedom of Speech?

The first amendment that I use very well. I am a very vocal person which can be a good and a bad thing. At first growing up, I was very timid when it came to saying how I felt because I didn't want to hurt feelings or just drama but when I didn't speak up for myself, people ran over me. So since about 12 years of age, I been bossin' so to speak and saying what I felt regardless of the aftermath. With that being said, with the drama going on in my life, I have been very vocal about how I felt about every person involved and their actions even when it wasn't my place to get mad or to even say something about it. I'm a grown ass woman and I was feeling I can say what the hell I want to anyone and you're going to like it. No, sadly it doesn't work like that. Everyday people are going to do things around you that you don't like and I realized that. I don't have to speak on it EVERYTIME because even if you voice your opinion people are still going to be the same simple minded that they are and I couldn't keep beating them in the head until they got what I was saying. I realized that yeah, I am an adult. Number two, I can say what I want, it is the law. Number three, there is a time and place to say what you feel and there are times when you just have to bite your tounge. After these past few days, I have realized that and accepted that. So to avoid any more drama I cut off the people who were giving me a problem and vice versa, so I won't have to speak on anything and continue to live my life and grow. It takes the bigger person to realize their mistakes and how to correctly use their freedom of speech.

Outie♥
Breezi F.