<3's Her...

Anytime one of the homies jump on the blog-wagon, I give em some love and this is the one I've been waitin' on. She just started it but she will definatley entertain you. She used to be my roommate and I see her in me a lot. We ♥ fashion, gossip, boys, love♥ and we are the most dramatic human beings on the east coast lol. She gives good advice and when she has problems she wants your input too!So follow her and tell her Breezi F sent you....

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Outie♥
Breezi F.

Breezi in the Middle

I have been contemplating back and forth if I should even touch this subject but talking to my good friend, Brent I realized maybe I should. But where do I begin? What all should I put out there? Is it worth my relationships with these people? I know what decision I need to make to maintain the one that means the most, but do I spare feelings when intially mine weren't taking into consideration? I have to put everything into consideration; pros v. cons. I hate going on a life rollercoaser, my intentions are good and my heart means well, but will that be recoginized? And the funny thing is, I know EXACTLY how I feel about it all but why can't I form the words? The thing is, is it all worth it? I hate taking risks! =/
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Sidenote: Sorry if it seemed as if I was rambling on and on and this is a foriegn language but I was just talking, back to the original program.

Outie♥
Breezi F.

A.W.O.L

Absent Without Leave. Sorry guys. =( I have abandoned you all for like two weeks!!! Ugh! A lot has been going on and your girl has been stressed to the max. I have approximately 6 weeks left in my pregnancy (thank God) and I have been in hell. I found myself with no one really to talk to because of a lot of unnecessary drama and he say, she say. So to avoid these peoblems for now so I wont cause any stress to my unborn was to stay distant from a lot of people. When I was distan,t people made their own assumptions and fed off of the word of mouth process. I didn't find the need to discuss much with anyone because I don't need the extra stress. Plain as day, right? Well according to people I am wrong and just a drama queen but yet I've done nothing nor said anything to anyone. Awhile ago I did a blog about friends. I have two lifelong friends, Janay and Danielle. They know me. I am not perfect, I can be at fault but they still don't judge me and they listen. They have the slightest clue of what happened to me nor any details. Instead of calling me out or putting me on blast; they listened. Left with encouraging words and no hurtful. Miles are between us but I am so happy to know that these two are the real deal. I love them and they love me back. I would like to share what they said to me:

Danielle (via Facebook Note):

Dis is a woman (Janay) who when we were younger i did not like her. dats what i told her and jessica...lol, but i did like her. she really was effin kool. and trustworthy to my friend jessica. who introduced us. neway over the years we three have been partners in crime from skating rings to sleep overs to janay comin to my house and eatin all my food. her and jessica junkin up my clean bathroom...lol. but i truly luv them. im writting this cuz i want yall to know how thankful i am to have these two in my life. we are all military bratts. me jessica clayton and janay brown. we never lived close to each other all at the same time. we all moved away to different states and stayed in contact. ALWAYS! neway right now janay is away at college, jessica is in virginia bout to have her second baby, and im in georgia wit my 3 kids. we never get to see each other and i never realized how much i really luv them and really miss them....(o geez im crying) neway i recently came back from fayetteville which by the way i had a horrible time. dealing wit my childrens families and their fathers. (yes i have two baby daddies) i was so so hurt and so alone. it was just me in the car drivin down skibo wit my kids. tryin to figure out what to do to brighten up my evening, not just for me but so my kids know im ok. i decided to just take them to walmart so they could each pick out a toy to take on the trip home. i cried on ever single isle i turned on, but i had my big glasses on so no one knew. not even the kids. they luv walmart they were zoned out neway...lol. all of a sudden i heard someone scream my name...DDAANNIIEELLLLLEE!!! i never in a million years expected to see janay brown in front of me...cheezzin...lol. and ive never in a million years been so overjoyed with happiness and love. her and her mom. i hugged them both as tight as i could and couldnt stop crying. omg. but this is my point- about me jessica and janay. we are all so far away from each other, but when we really really need each other even for just an assurace that we luv each other. we are there. some how some way. and i'm very very thankful to have these two woman in my life. i couldnt get on the road to go back to georgia cuz i was too hurt, but after janay and her mom popped up i was good to go. got back at 3am. i gota stop crying now. and i gotta change my phone number cuz i cant deal wit the other people out ther nemore. i never wanna feel that bad ever again. love you janay. love you jessica.

Janay (via Message & disregard her lack of spelling lol):

hello there love, i'm hoping you have recoperated from that text i set you and are feeling just like your lil side maseage says you think you are ...AWSOME.. i love you and i hope to get to visit your sexy prego self soon and maybe might even be able to go to the hospital when you have the baby, thats what im banking on, but you ahng in there.justs remember you hormone are actin as if they were on acid lol, i was depressed for the last couple of weks myself tryin to get ready for school and haveing work to turn in for my trip to china and just slapt all day, but you have to snap out of it and just pray.. but anywho know that me and Danielle love you very much and danielle is that perfect person to talk to being that she was going through a lil post partum herself at one point. but i love you and i will keep you and the babies in my prayers.

These words from them two picked me back up. And though we don't talk 24/7 nor even know whats going on with one another, I know these two always know what to say. Love you both. And all the folks who read my blog just bare with me cause I haven't been myself lately and I hope soon enough the puzzle of this journey will be completed. Love you guys too!!! =)

Outie♥
Breezi F.

What about your friends?

So I was writing the names out for my shower yesterday so I can give my "Wife" the list and my mother calls and asks how many guests have I came up with thus far. I replied about forty-five approximately. She laughed and says "Damn, I could of sworn as much falling outs you had I am surprised!" Made me think about the people on the list and the ones exlcluded and the friendships I do or did maintain with them. I realize not everybody is your friend, friend and they all serve different purposes in your life. So I put them into categories, Life-long friends, Fun friends, Seasonal Friends and Freneimes. 9 times out of 10 we have all had these type people in our lives or we have actually played one of these roles in their life.

Life-long friends:
These are the friends I consider to be in your life regardless. You've known them since forever and you know their family in depth. These are the friends you've grown up with and you actually consider them family. I have a few of those especially my childhood crew from North Carolina, Danielle, Janay & Laterika. Even when distance put us apart we are and will only be a flight or a phone call away, regardless of how much talking we do now a days.

Fun Friends:
These are your party friends. We club, we chill, we wild out together. Simple. There are never room for arguments nor a dull moment because these friends occupy your time with fun and enjoyable moments. I think I have these friends in incriments at a time. You meet these friends at school or work. You share common interests and they make life more enjoyable although they won't be there for a lifetime.

Seasonal Friends:
These are the friends that you think you may have for a lifetime and they are your best friend but in reality they are only their for a season, maybe a few. They come and go like the seasons. Usually you always have a falling out with this person/people but they always seem to find their way back to you but sooner than later they fade out indefinate on mutual circumstances.

Freneimes:
These type of friends are the hardest type to distinguish. They often pose as either a Lifetime friend, Fun friend or a Seasonal but in reality their motives are evil. They get close to you to gain knowledge to use against you and even use you to get what they want. They either use you for money, support, knowledge, or even jealous of your lifestyle and they try to gain whatever it is that you posses. I have had a lot of these in the past years, hell even recently I had a frenemy. These are the friends who like the drama or really off of their rocker. They end up hurting you in the end instead of making you mad because you thought they were a different type of a friend when really they are "out for you" so to speak.

After determing these friend categories, I went through my shower list again. Majority of them were Fun and Lifetime Friends even a few Seasonal but I am glad to see that there weren't any frenemies. What type of friends do you have or better yet, WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?

Outie♥
Breezi F.

Yeah, So Ummm.....

One thing I hate is to be put into awkward situations but that's life and at one time or another it is bound to happen. There's different types of awkwardness like meeting new people, saying something embarrassing, or being around people/person you've known forever and can't stand to look them in the face or say two words. That's kind of what happened today. With all the ahem, blogs floating around and he/say she say that's been going on between the group of friends/enemies this past week set the tone for it. Not going to details in depth but when I talk to my best friends mom about it, when she came to see why I went to be by myself, she said to me "Why can't you just be the bigger person and be friends?" That's what I heard from Trice, Doni & Heff, my close friends. Point blank, I am s t u b b o r n as a mule. I don't budge for much because that's just me or as many would say "You're just dramatic!" Half true. It gets to the point where people don't like to invite us to the same events or mention our names around one another without getting the "Mufasa" feeling (you know the Lion King when the Hyenias would say Mufasa name and shiver lol). I know people are getting quite tired of it because I know I am. So its like do I be the bigger person or do I jus continue to as its been? Dunno! But oh wells.....life goes on I guess.

Btw congrats to my boo Sidonia for graduating from Virginia State University c/o 2009. I'm proud of you boo!

Outie♥

Breezi F.

Wouldn't You Agree?

When I first met you
You stood by my side
And when you asked me to be yours
You made me cry
And so I was prepared
To take all the blows at the chin
But you never mentioned cheating
Please tell me what happened
What makes you think?
You get away with that
Talking to my best friend
Behind my back
Look what you did to us
Look what you did to me
What a wonderful love loss
Wouldn't you agree?
She introduced me to you
Said you were just "friends"
She assured me you were the one
For me until the end
Now I should have known
By the magic between you two
That angel faces like yours
Can lie too, can lie too
When I see my friends
They've got to know
I not only lost a friend
But now my heart's about to explode
Now there's something I'd like to say
Before I make my outro
(Oh God) Oh God
Did you see that?
There they go....

Outie♥
Breezi F.

Frenemies

Since I've been M.I.A from the blog I have had a lot of things going on. I don't know if its because the increase of hormones and estrogens that have had me on edge or is it that I've reached my boiling point with certain people. I think it is a little of both. So the latest to blow up in my world is the end of my 7 year friendship with the used to be best friend of mine, Kristen. For a couple months, hell maybe even longer than that our friendship has been iffy and has deteriotated greatly. Since she has betrayed me and always talked about my back from jump street my trust with her has been, since then leary. I mean who wouldn't be that way. When I try to confide in her when I needed her the most she wouldnt say much but "Oh." "I'm if here if you need me." "Damn." What kind of shit is that? So today I found out that ex (which is still my best friend and my childs father) was over her place so his friend can see Brandy. Acey told me he did of course, and yet I told him I didnt like that idea because Kristen used to be infatuataed with him and I know how she is/was. So not to be shisty I came to Kristen and told her the same thing and yet it spilled into something way deeper and the conversation went a little like this:

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Conversation between "J3SSRabbit" and "xxteezixx"To return to your conversation, close this window.


[Tue Apr 7 2009 08:44:31 PM] J3SSRabbit: As to what I was sayin before i had 2 bounce....1st and foremeost about the whole Acey problem , before you run back and tell whatever i say to you befroe i came to you i went to him first my problem isnt Acey its you. Secondly whatever i did and do with acey regardless of HIS PAST, as in PAST TENSE doesnt concern you so if i was number 50-leven thats my issue not YOURS. Secondly since you gotta big issue wit me bing at your HOUSE dont worry bout me ever showin my face

xxteezixx: real talk u shouldnt have a problem wit me cuz i aint do shit to u!!!!
xxteezixx: asked me a question and i told u to ask him cuz i was gonna keep it 100 wit u regaurdless what he said
xxteezixx: i jus wanted to kno he he was gonna be honest wit u from jump[Tue Apr 7 2009 08:46:49 PM] J3SSRabbit: u should been 100 off the bat not pausing thats npt REAL
xxteezixx: and as ur friend u shouldnt think i would do anything wit acey ever again since yall been in a relationship thats not me

J3SSRabbit: pssh im jus sayin i dont put nothin past nobody

xxteezixx: right but he cheats on u and u give him 2nd chance
xxteezixx: rrrriiiiigggghhhhhttttt
xxteezixx: i may be a bitch but as my friend i would never do u dirty like that

J3SSRabbit: and thats agian once AGAIN MESSICA AND ACEY i aint gotta anser 2 you about cheatin we past that. LIKE is aid i dont put nothin past nobody

xxteezixx: and i still dont kno what the fuck i did to u for u to have a problem or feel some type of way of him being over here its not like i was the only one here so taht jus shows me that ur insecure about something when it comes to him if i told u b4 that i dont want him what it was is what it was and thats it then u should be able to deal wit that and believe me...like i keep tellin everybody i dont have a PROBLEM wit anybody being over here it jus would have been nice if u said something
[Tue Apr 7 2009 08:55:20 PM] xxteezixx:
but it is what it is and no need to go any further

J3SSRabbit: I ALWAYS SPEAK WHEN I CAME OVER<> INSECURE, CUZ OF YOU! NO ITS A TRUST ISSUE WITH YOU IVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT WITH YOU

xxteezixx: wtf u should have been chucked the deuces wen it came to me then
xxteezix: dont have me thinkin ur a close friend if u feel that way!!
xxteezixx: real talk talkin about somebody keepin it funky wit u lol righ
xxteezixx: goodbye jessica it was fun while it lasted i wish u the best in life wit u and ur kids!
xxteezixx: holla!! cuz there is no need to say shit else to me and im damn sure not gonna say shit else to u!!!

J3SSRabbit: psssh okay keep in mind im not the only one who said they wont tust u round their man either,
J3SSRabbit: i been kept it 100% wit ya ass wether you liked it or not
J3SSRabbit: and tahts fine

xxteezixx: and thats fine glad ppl kno how to talk behind others back and not keep it real supposed to be year of change when aint nobody changin shit and 100 wit me ha not if u been feelin that way but still havin me think everything is all good..i bet u enjoied me and acey not being friends but holla!!!

J3SSRabbit: whatever, just as much as he did!

xxteezixx: Messages will be delivered when the buddy goes online.

...............................................

Intense right thenshe had the nerve to sign off, childish. Whatever I'm done. I realize you just grow out of people sometimes and you win some and then you lose some and I just lost one and I am a ok.

The good ole' days...

Outie♥

Breezi F.